Snake Charmer Pest Control

Rebecca was in the sun room, when Trevor heard her scream. He dashed from the back of the house to find his wife trembling from fright.

“What is it,” he asked.

Having caught her breath, she answered, “There’s a rattle snake out in the sun room.”

Relieved that it was something he could take care of, Trevor rushed to their garage and grabbed a shovel. He returned to the door leading into the sun room, when Rebecca stopped him.

“It might be scary to me,” she launched, “but you are not going to kill the poor thing!”

Frowning, Trevor asked, “So what the hell do you want me to do about it? Go talk to it and say nice snaky-snake, will you please leave our sun room and don’t scare Rebecca again?”

“Don’t be a smart-ass,” Rebecca scolded. “Call that pest company we keep seeing on TV.”

“You mean the one with the redheaded Irish gal?” Trevor wanted to know.

Rebecca shook her head, “Yeah, that one.”

Trevor pulled his smart phone from his back pocket and started thumbing through the apps until he found the one he wanted.

“‘Snake Charmer Pest Control,'” he demanded.

“I’m off to work,” Rebecca exclaimed giving Trevor a quick peck on the lips. “See you this evening!”

Trevor watched as she backed out of the driveway, waving. His mind quickly raced, “I could kill the damn thing now and she’d be none the wiser.”

Instead, he rethought the situation.

He had memorized the pest control company’s name because he thought the woman in the commercials was super attractive. The phone began to ring at the other end.

“Hello, Snake Charmer Pest Control, Fianna speakin’,” the breathy sound of a female Irish brogue answered.

‘Uh, hi,” Trevor started, surprised that the woman on the phone sounded remarkably similar to the woman on the commercials, “I have a snake in my sun room and need help getting it out.”

“Do ya know what kind of snake tis?” the woman asked.

“I think it’s a rattler,” he replied.

In return Fianna instructed him not to go near it as it could bite him and being very poisonous, it could make him sick or even kill him. Instead, she told Trevor, “Jus’ keep an eye on it, watch where it goes, don’t try to stop it and I’ll be there in less than half-an-hour.”

For the next 23 minutes, Trevor did exactly as instructed. He left his post only long enough to answer the door and invited Fianna inside.

She was a petite uniformed woman with a knockout body, beautiful blue eyes, dazzling white smile and flaming red hair. He invited her inside and directed her towards the sun room.

He could feel his pulse pick up as she gently slipped by him and into the sun room.

“Ah, how cute, he’s sunnin’ himself,” she quipped, adding, “Soakin’ up the sun helps their metabolism.”

Fianna turned and left the way she came. In less than two minutes she was back, carrying a long pole with a slight crook on one end, and a large plastic bucket with a lid.

Without a word she went to work. In no time at all Fianna had the snake in the bucket and the lid sealed.

“I’ll be right back,” she chimed as she headed out the door again.

Trevor couldn’t help but stand in the door way watching, feeling smitten with Fianna. She was so much prettier in person than on TV and she nice to boot.

She looked up and smiled at him from the back of her suburban. He looked away, slightly embarrassed but also turned on after she caught him and she winked at him.

Trevor didn’t know it at the moment, but he was trapped. She came bounding into the house and held out her hand.

Mesmerized, Trevor found himself leaning his head towards her, feeling her soft, warm skin against his face. It felt so natural, that he didn’t think twice as he drew closer, feeling her arm as it drew him into her.

Trevor kissed her shoulder, and then flicked his tongue wildly against the pale skin of her neck. The act frightened Trevor and he instantly recoiled in horror as he felt Fianna’s hand clamp down on him.

But it was too late, as Fianna coyly hissed at him, “Oh, silly man – you were too easy to read and now you be no longer harmin’ women’s hearts.”

In a matter of seconds, Trevor found himself locked inside a bucket, the lid tightly closed, containing the snake that he had become.


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