Beyond

Republicans are red
Democrats are blue
Neither damn party
Cares about you.


When my son was four-years-old, we were visiting the North Coast and I treated him to handful of orange and yellow Salmon Berries. After tasting the first one, he looked at me in earnest and said, “Thank god, they don’t taste like salmon. You know I hate fish.”


The Devil whispered in my ear, “You’re not strong enough to withstand the storm.” Jesus made me a Christian; the Corps made me a Marine. He didn’t see the Kabar until it was too late. I chuckled.


Part of a real headline from the Toronto Sun: “Uranus stinks – literally: Scientists say…smells like rotten eggs.”


Maybe it wasn’t the most brilliant thing to do, but then it is my private back yard. Someone jus’ hovered a drone over me. Instead of filming it like everyone else would, I jumped up and flashed a BA at the damned thing. Wonder how long it’ll be before it gets posted on Facebook and the cop come knocking on our front door.


Five Things More Trusted Than CNN and MSNBC:

  1. Breast milk from Bruce Jenner
  2. Unprotected sex with Madonna
  3. Having a drink will Bill Cosby
  4. A Casey Anthony’s babysitting service
  5. Getting text messages from Anthony Weiner

Note to the religious zealot: You are not allowed to wield the Holy Bible as if it were a club to be used as a means to batter another believer or even a non-believer into submitting to your way of thinking until such time as you are able to prove up yourself perfect without the need of Jesus Christ’s sacrifice on the cross.


When I say you’ve moved from one season into another, I’m speaking of Ecclesiastics 3. Find what season you’re in and understand what season you’re moving towards.


The Queen is coming down the Mall in an open horse drawn carraige. Sitting next to her is the King of Tongo, who is on a state visit.

Suddenly one of the horses farts. The Queen,feeling embarrassed,says to the King.”I do apologize for that your Majesty.”

The King says,” No worries ma’am, but if l had done that, l would have blamed the horse.”


A man walks by a bum as he entered a building. The bum asked him for a dime, which the man gave to him.

At couple of minutes later the man walked out of the building only to have the same bum ask, “Hey, Mister, can you spare a quarter?”

Slightly irritated, the man asked, “Not two-minutes ago you asked me for a dime, so what changed?”

The bum responded, “Mister, you gotta quit living in the past!”


Dreamt that my high school class reunion was being held by the old swimming hole on the banks of High Praire Creek in the pasture below my childhood home in Klamath. The party started after I had began skinny-dipping and someone stole my clothes. I ended up getting out of the water to look for them and I wasn’t even embarrassed even though all of my classmates were present. Odd, odd, odd.


While I don’t like NFL players kneeling, forced ‘patriotism’ also defeats the purpose of Liberty.


Only seven-percent of your friends will see what you post because of Facebook’s algorithms.


If Jesus were as liberal as many would like to make Him out to be, He would have never instructed us to “work out your own salvation,” nor would have admonished Paul to not worry about Thomas’ place in the kingdom. Nor is the Gospel isn’t about free food, as the en mass feedings happens to be an object lesson using the the regional customs of the day.


I was jus’ thinking about the day when all four of us kids were at the Salmon Festival in Klamath, California and there were pony rides. One of the animal’s dropped a load and my sister, Deirdre exclaimed at age seven, “Wake up and smell the horses!”


Learned something new today: don’t wear a military flack-jacket as a weight-vest while on a walk. Deputy stopped to talk to me after some called to report me. When I told him I was using it as an exercise tool, he told me that he understood. Then I made him laugh by saying, ‘Must have been someone from California that called.’ He gave me a lift home.


Teens boys walking by the house called me an ‘old fart.’ Made them laugh when I returned, ‘With a new stink.’ Not all is lost.

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